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Revising your writing can be a pain the ass.
I recently finished revising and editing my Sorority Zombies in Space! manuscript for the third time, and I realized that I created a continuity error on the first page as a result of my second round of revisions. It can be difficult to keep track of what changes you've made, particularly in a longer piece of work.
But learning to revise your work is vital. Your first draft is almost certainly going to be your weakest.
One area that I have to watch out for when revising is: am I telling or showing? I know that "show, don't tell" is really basic advice. I've even written a post on when to tell, not show.
But, yeah, I still struggle with painting a picture for my readers. I think I've mentioned before that I have difficulty with descriptions (dialogue is my jam), so I have to go back and layer them in.
For instance, in my short story "A Lucky Star," the first draft opened like this:
Years ago there roamed a grand circus, with everything a circus should have: a charismatic ringmaster, fearsome lions and a fearless trainer, a gaggle of clowns, and an absolute army of acrobats, contortionists, and tightrope walkers.
You might be thinking, "Well, you're not just telling us it's a grand circus, you're showing what makes it grand."
But I'm not. Not really. All I'm doing is telling you who performs in the circus. Frankly, you probably could have guessed that information on your own.
Compare that opening to the published version:
Years ago, there roamed a splendid circus, boasting everything a circus should have. From the moment of its arrival into each town, the troupe would create a spectacle, with jugglers and bally girls providing a preview alongside painted wagons which advertised: THE FAMED — THE WONDERFUL — CIRCUS TROUPE And, in smaller lettering underneath: TWO SEATS FOR A DOLLAR
I kept the opener, but I changed "grand" to "splendid" (it sounded more historical to my ear) and "with" to "boasting" (a strong verb).
Instead of listing out the performers, I let you, the reader, see the circus as it enters into town.
While "years ago" tells you this is in the past, the details of painted wagons and the price of tickets immediately hint at the time period.
The new intro contains a piece of information that I learned through research: bally girls were women who sang and danced in the circus. Never neglect your research!
These little changes come together to make a revised opening that is more immersive.
All this is to say—when revising, one area you should keep in mind is finding spots where you can deepen the immersion and paint a picture for your readers.
Thanks for this handy example!