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Steering the Craft, Chapter 7 Exercises
- Jennifer Peaslee
- 2 hours ago
- 5 min read
Today, I am on Ch. 7—Point of View and Voice. This is a four-parter!
Think up a situation for a narrative sketch of 200–350 words. It can be anything you like but should involve several people doing something. (Several means more than two. More than three will be useful.) Please use little or no dialogue in these POV exercises.
Part One: Two Voices First: Tell your little story from a single POV, that of a participant in the event. Use limited third person.
Christopher turned his cart into the wine aisle, thinking he would pick up a decent rosé for Katie back at the condo. He knew she had been stressed at work lately, and this would show he cared, he listened, he wasn’t like those other brutes she had dated before. His mind was occupied trying to remember if there was a particular brand she favored, so he didn’t register how narrow the aisle was, or the store worker restocking shelves midway down the aisle, or the other cart that was barreling down from the opposite direction. Christopher pushed his cart, not looking forward but browsing bottles.
Crash! His cart collided with something, and he looked ahead of himself to see that he had hit the second cart head-on. Christopher apologized; the woman pushing the other cart returned the apology. She hadn’t been looking where she was going either, she said. Christopher tried to separate their carts, but they were stuck fast. He and the woman laughed together awkwardly, and both tried to pull their carts apart, but it seemed that the steel wire had become entangled.
The kid stocking shelves noticed the pair’s predicament and offered his assistance, which Christopher accepted with resignation—what could the kid do? The pimply teenager jostled the carts uselessly for five seconds, then gave up. Nothing to be done, he shrugged. Christopher rolled his eyes. Thanks anyway, he told the kid. In the end, he and the woman ditched their carts for a couple of baskets left at the end of the aisle.
Second: Retell the story from the POV of one of the other people involved in it. Again, use limited third person.
Steve was restocking bottles of wine and wishing that management allowed earpods to be worn. Out of this corner of his eye, he clocked some dude turning into the aisle, not looking where he was going. Steve swiveled his head and saw that a MILF was pushing her cart from the other direction, also not looking ahead. The two would collide if Steve didn’t say anything. He shrugged and went back to restocking the shelves. The store didn’t pay him for extra helpfulness. He heard the crash as the carts collided, then the two shoppers apologized. Then he heard the jangling of the carts and looked over to see that they were stuck together. The man tried to pull them apart, then he and the MILF pulled simultaneously—nothing. Steve offered to help, thinking maybe he could fix the problem and get the babe’s number (a long shot, he knew, but you have to live for something), but the carts were stuck fast. He shrugged again. He’d done his best. The dude thanked him sarcastically, then he and the MILF ditched their carts mid-aisle, leaving Steve to clean up their mess. Typical.
Part Two: Detached Narrator Tell the same story using the detached author or “fly on the wall” POV.
The stockboy was unpacking wine and putting bottles up on the shelves. He was partially surrounded by crates of wine, obstructing parts of the aisle. At one end, the man in his twenties turned his cart into the aisle, keeping his eye on the shelves beside him. At the other end, a middle-aged woman was pushing her cart directly towards the man while her head was turned toward the bottles of wine neatly arranged on the shelves. Neither was looking at the other when their carts crashed together. Both apologized; the man tried to pry the carts apart, but they wouldn’t budge. He and the woman tried together to separate them, to no avail. The stockboy looked at the middle-aged woman and offered his help. He gave a short attempt, then gave up and shrugged. The man told him thanks, anyway. He and the woman conferred for a few seconds, then left their carts in the middle of the aisle. The stockboy sighed.
Part Three: Observer-Narrator If there wasn’t a character in the original version who was there but was not a participant, only an onlooker, add such a character now. Tell the same story in that character’s voice, in first or third person.
Marcus, manager of the Piggly Wiggly, watched on the monitor as Steve, the newest hire, restocked the wine. Steve was still on his probationary period, and he didn’t seem the type who would swipe a bottle of wine mid-shift, but you could never be too careful. Then, on the monitor, two carts crashed into each other near Steve. It was hard to make out what was happening on the small monitor, but the two shoppers seemed to speak momentarily and then try to go their separate ways, but couldn’t. Their carts appeared stuck. To Marcus’s relief, Steve walked over to the carts, presumably to offer his assistance as a good employee should. But whatever Steve tried, it apparently didn’t work, as the two shoppers abandoned their carts in the middle of the aisle. Marcus continued watching to see if Steve would take care of the carts. He felt pleased to see that Steve immediately started pushing the stuck carts back toward the front of the store. Maybe the boy would be a solid worker after all.
Part Four: Involved Author Tell the same or a new story using the involved-author POV.
People never seem to look where they're going anymore, have you noticed? Christopher and Amanda certainly weren’t looking where they were going when their two carts collided in the wine aisle of the Piggy Wiggly. Steve, who was restocking shelves, could have stopped the collision, were he not afflicted with the apathy of youth. At any rate, Christopher and Amanda, both in decent spirits, were quick to apologize to each other. But when they tried to separate their carts, they found that a broken bit of steel wire on Christopher’s cart had snagged Amanda’s. He tried to pry them apart; then they both tried, each pulling at their separate carts. It was no use. Steve finally volunteered his help—truth be told, though, he was hoping to show up Christopher and stand out as the manliest of men in the Piggly Wiggly that Saturday afternoon. It was no use; the carts were stuck fast. Steve shrugged; Christopher sneered; then he and Amanda gave up on their carts in favor of a couple of shopping baskets placed at the end of the aisle. Again, young Steve shrugged, recognizing that it fell to him to take care of the shoppers’ abandoned carts.
Whew! That was a hefty set of exercises. It was great practice, though, writing in all those different POVs. "Detached narrator" felt stiff, but I liked writing in the "involved-author" POV.
If you complete the exercise, I encourage you to post and share your responses.
Writing without a paywall is important to me, but writing is work. If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I would be honored if you would consider donating.
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